HighFive: 1995 – September 2, 1998
Born of David Siegel’s mental loins sometime in the year of our Lord, One Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety Five, HighFive passed away today after an extended illness.
Doctors and Internet technicians did everything they could to keep HighFive alive, however mounting medical bills and a fragmenting community contributed heavily to the illness late in HighFive’s life. When asked, loyal HighFive fans will deny its death. Many fanatic supporters were seen picketing outside the 1940s industrial style building that houses a company called Siegelvision. One fan, who wishes to remain anonymous, was passing around a donated Palm Pilot, asking people for their digital signatures in hopes that a petition might change some minds. Chants of “Keep High Five Alive” and “High Five Jives” were being heard outside the Siegelvision building, but rumors of HighFive’s death quickly turned those chants into tears.
When asked about the decision to end HighFive’s life support mechanisms, David Siegel held a newspaper up to his face and blurted “No comment.” Apparently the very father of the Web Design Award has abandoned his ill-begotten child in favor for more lucrative markets.
In a prepared press statement, Siegel reports ” As a personal pet project, I have put over $50,000 of my own money into the site in the last 18 months, and I’m sorry to say that at this time it looks like we’ll have to discontinue publication.”
The “web design” community will mourn the passing of HighFive by turning all of their pages black in a powerful statement dubbed “Project Go Black, Jack.” Some of these “web designers” are even going so far as converting all of their clients’ pages to black as well.
Podunkville, KY-based “web designer” Joe Schmuckman, who runs the “HighFive Sucks” web site was seen driving his 1971 AMC Gremlin down the road at a furious pace, arms waving in the air. Schmuckman, who delivers pizza during the day and designs web sites at night, has a volatile history towards HighFive. Onlookers were warned by the police to keep clear, as Schmuckman’s behaviour is widely seen as unpredictable.
Thomas Van Hare, of Capstone Studios, the parent organization that funds and maintains HighFive’s arch nemesis site, Internet Profesional Publisher’s Association (http://www.ippa.org) was unavailable for comment. However, many expect IPPA’s site traffic to surge unpredictably as the HighFive fans desperately seek out their weekly fix of good web design.
Pundits are pointing out the similarities to another abandoned and long-forgotten good-idea-turned-web-site, Cool Site of the Day. CSoTD founder Glenn Davis long ago sold the whole operation to a venture capitalist firm with bulging pockets, and has since gone on to develop Project Cool, another web design resource web site. [Here’s what really happened to Glenn]
“I’m concerned about the quality of content, and I am working too hard on other projects to give it the attention it deserves,” says Siegel.
What you have just read is a parody based on real facts. Parts of it are entirely ficticious. It is not intended to be used as an actual news article or news source. Failure to understand this is entirely your fault.
Posted by Cameron Barrett at September 2, 1998 09:38 PM