The following came from an old friend of mine. His response is below the first email. I was so moved by it, I decided to share it. [A forwarded email...] My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is, if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift. [Begin Matt's response:] All of you are familiar with my signature at the bottom of my emails. ("Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know." - Sassan Tat). It hints at the two rules to success in life and lists only one. As I talked to a very good friend of mine who is well along in years I hear in her new attitude echoes of feelings I have. After a very recent and critical surgery her perspective on life seems to have changed, much like the woman in the aforementioned story. You see, the joys in life aren't about where you plan to go, what you plan to do, or what you intend to become. Other's don't measure you on what you profess to do, or what you intend to do but solely upon that which you have already done and who you are _today_. If you don't believe me, you need to go to a few more funerals. Listen to what's said about the deceased. You'll hear very little about what the persons dreams were, or what they intended to do. What you'll hear about is what that person did on the normal days of their life. Without getting boring, long-winded, philosophical, and religous, rule #2 in my book is simply this: Life isn't about the destination, it's the journey. Live every day as if it were your last. It's why I live the way I do. It's why I don't fear death. It's why I don't pass up a chance to do something new. It's why I eat what and how I want. It's why I smile so much. It's why I try so hard to make others smile. It's why I have no less than 5 families that have adopted me. It's why I push everyone else as hard as I push myself. It's why I play so hard. It's why I work so hard. It's why I've been in the cockpit of a 777, flown a helicopter, driven a Porche, water skiid, downhill skiid, started a business, become a youth leader, raced mountain bikes, touched fighter jets, vacationed in the France riviera, climbed a mountain, became a hero to a little boy, toured a castle, and other dreams I have lived. At several points in my life I've made lists of the things I've dreamed of. Of the 125 or so documented dreams of mine I've done about 100. Some await different stages of my life (like when I'm married) and others like dream #50 is in conclusion. (#50. Die hard.) When my time arrives (Heb 9:27) I want it to be fast. Since so much is done and so little is left, I guess it's time to make a new list. I never wake up and wonder if someday I'll be successful. Success is a standard we set for ourselves. I met my requirements the day I decided that I was at least half the man my father was. Therefore, I must be a success. :) Since then others have expressed that they see me as successful. At first I questioned how they could arrive at that decision but I think they can see it written across my face in the form of my smile. Live your dreams and success will take care of itself. Matt