I think I’m …

I think I’m sick. I went to bed yesterday at 5:00 PM and got up this morning at 6:00 AM and went to work because I couldn’t bring myself to sit in front of my computer or the TV at home. Yesterday was a weird day. I didn’t go to work because I had a scheduled CT scan in the morning and for the rest of the day felt like crap because of the gallon of barium sulfate cocktail they made me drink. I spent three hours this morning editing the pictures from my Siberia trip and then became depressed and drank a cup of hot chocolate. Now I feel hot and feverish. Maybe it’s just a severe case of postponed jetlag.

Here’s the Deal. I have not talked about this publicly until now, but enough readers have asked that I might as well just tell you. Yes, I am sick, but I am not going to die. In June of 2001 I was diagnosed with an extremely rare lymphoproliferative disorder called Castleman’s Disease. For about a week in late May they thought I had Lymphoma and I was preparing myself for a long battle against cancer. I was lucky and it turned out to be something much less serious that did not require chemotherapy. But I still see my doctor every few months and have a CT scan every 4-6 months as a preventative measure. All of the tests since last Fall have shown no change and I am clinically healthy and no longer on prescription anti-inflammatory steroids. Earlier this summer I joined a gym to get my body into a better physical shape, and it’s slowly working. I’ve lost about 15 pounds since I started but an underactive thyroid gland is making it a slow progress. I am thankful that I have excellent doctors, but there are times when I become frustrated and depressed and want to stop writing CamWorld. But I realize the act of writing this site is a form of therapy for me and it helps me along where few other outlets cannot. I’ve considered writing more about this and someday maybe I will, but for the most part I have accepted my health problems for what they are and am thankful that my condition is not more serious (though it could become so if I ignore it).

Having a potentially life-threatening illness changes a person. I refused to accept this last year but have come to understand that it has changed me. I am a different person than I was a year ago. Those of you who have known me for years may have noticed these changes. You can go back and read my CamWorld posts from 1998, 1999 and 2000 and you may be able to spot how I have changed, how I have matured, and maybe even pinpoint the dates I made conscious efforts to be a different person that I was in my past.

It feels good to get this off my chest. Now all I feel like doing is going to sleep.

Interesting. Microsoft has discontinued Internet Explorer for Unix. This makes me wonder if or when they will axe IE for Mac OS X. I don’t think it matters much, except from a political stance, since Mozilla is an excellent replacement for IE — regardless of your OS platform.

Dan Bricklin: Why Johnny Can’t Program

I put my pants on this morning and found the 700 rubles (about $22) I thought I had lost last week at the Irkutsk airport. Sigh…

Posted by Cameron Barrett at September 19, 2002 01:07 PM

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